Comments:
Go back to the top of this page
Post a comment:
There's more to explore about Parent Power! Return to the home page to find out what else we're talking about.
More than 15 years of CASA* research on teens and substance abuse finds that a child who gets through age 21 without smoking, using illegal drugs or abusing alcohol is virtually certain never to do so and that the greatest influence on teens is parents. Over those years, from thousands of emails, letters and calls from concerned parents like you, we've become convinced that you do not appreciate the power you have to raise healthy, drug free kids and how best to exercise that power. So we're writing a new book, Parent Power, to help you.
YES I WOULD AND TRY NOT TO GET CAUGHT……BEING TOO AFRAID TO FIND OUT IS NEVER GETTING TO KNOW IF IT’S A RUMOR OR NOT
When my boys were teens and tweens, I found a home drug test. I bought one and set it on the the kitchen counter. I told them that if I ever suspected any one of them of doing drugs, that I would not hesitate to test them. I told them it was not there to intimidate them, but to assure their privacy. I would test first before I began going through their things.
A local drug enforcement officer told me it was the wisest choice I could have made because it gave my sons a valid excuse to resist peer pressure. They could respond, “Hey, I can’t try that because my mom tests us at home for drug use.
Many of our friends and neighbors now use the same strategy. My oldest son is pursuing a career in law enforcement and worked for campus security in college. The other two have also remained drug free and will both be in college this fall.
i wasn’t checking his room. Figured he left it messy so we couldn’t find anything. Last month, while cleaning his room, I smwlled this awful”skunk ” smell. It was a brick of pot that he said someone paid him $200.00 to hold.I checked his room this past week and found small amount of pot in his pocket- right on the floor.
Yes, I absolutely would go through my child’s things. I would also let them know that if I ever suspected anything, that I would have no problem doing it. However, if you do decide to do this, check everywhere and in everything. Check the whole house - even your bedroom. They will hide it where you don’t think to look. Also look for straws, glass, spoons that are burnt on the bottom, tin foil, and anything else you read or hear about. Call your local police department and find out if you can talk to their drug recognition expert or if they have seminars for parents that will educate you on what to look for.
I found a small amount of marijuana and some drug paraphenelia in the car which both my daughter and I drove. I was getting gas and cleaning out stuff from underneath the seats. My daughter was between her junior and senior years. So, search the car besides their room etc. She had been acting out and yet still carrying on with other responsibilities. My husband suspected something but I did not, at least not marijuana. Maybe she wanted to get caught since it was in the car that I also drove. I could have lost my job had I been caught driving the car with the marijuana in it - when it was still unknown to me.
I have always gone through my son and daughter’s personal belongings. Some may call this practice an invasion of ther privacy, but this is a great way to know what is going on with your children and their friends.
Let’s say you suspected drug use but did not search your child’s room then at some point your child dies due to a drug related incident or an overdose.
Now, would still be OK with your decision not to search his room?
Damn straight, I would search his room. One is legally responsible for housing drugs in one’s home.
Would immediately notify parents! We’re also aware that our children and some parents wouldn’t accept our intervention gracefully. Some families would leap into action and some would continue in denial to the detriment of the family.
This is the comment for the present question–the previous comment was posted to answer the previous question because it would not allow a comment on the website.
As for searching children’s rooms and belongings–We don’t need suspicions to monitor rooms or belongings, it’s our job to protect kids from our society’s present ills. It has and will always be our family’s policy that unless children are way beyond suspicion, a search of anything, anytime is always on the table.
Yes, I absolutely would take whatever means I could to find out what was going on in her life. Sometimes kids are too smart to keep things in their room. When our oldest daughter began to smoke pot, I found out, in part, because I took her cell phone and read through text messages. I also got access to her Facebook page and read the comments on the wall. She was hiding pot behind books in the living room bookcase.
This comment refers to question above, about informing parents. I use discretion. Once, I told a mother something I knew to be true about her daughter’s use of alcohol. She told her daughter I had called, the daughter denied the accusation and that was the end of it…for them. Unfortunately, it drove a wedge between me and my daughter that took years to heal — wasn’t worth it. That said, I have also told parents who were grateful for the information and who kept the source of the info confidential. My inclination is to tell, but I am careful.