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More than 15 years of CASA* research on teens and substance abuse finds that a child who gets through age 21 without smoking, using illegal drugs or abusing alcohol is virtually certain never to do so and that the greatest influence on teens is parents. Over those years, from thousands of emails, letters and calls from concerned parents like you, we've become convinced that you do not appreciate the power you have to raise healthy, drug free kids and how best to exercise that power. So we're writing a new book, Parent Power, to help you.
The truth! As a long time abuser, I know first hand of the disinformation that the government and others just throw out there. One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to lose a kids or anyones trust. Make sure your information is factual and do not be on a demonizing agenda or just for the sake of scare tactics. The biggest losers in that game are the addicts not the one time experimenter.
Tell parents that alcohol damages the brain of any teen who uses it, especially the part of the brain where the “CEO functions” reside, the abilities to reason, make judgments, learn new information, etc. Because of this, they need to keep their kids alcohol and other drug free until at least the age of 21.
Kids love and respect and admire their parents (usually). Knowing how they would disappoint their parents if they used, they usually will not. If they do it anyway, get professional help for them immediately.
I think it would be helpful if parents could be educated about signs to look for even in early childhood which could reveal a predispostion toward addiction. Of course, a genetic test would be wonderful, but that isn’t something which has yet been invented. As a society we need to apply more funding to scientific research so that effective medicines can be brought to market which will improve the dopamine deficiency or whatever other chemical imbalances exist in the brains of addicts. Prisons would empty out considerably, automobile accidents would decrease, family violence statistics would improve, fewer adolescents would committ suicide, and fewer families would experience the gut-wrenching heartache and despair that mine has.
it would be helpful to have guidelines for how to set a good family policy on alcohol/use and risky situations. At least a list of items to consider in adopting a family policy, suggestions on how to involve everyone in the policy process and get buy in for the rules consequences and values.
been searching the web today for a such an article or document and am finding nothing. i see many suggestions on setting rules or a family policy but no information on how specifically to do this or what to include.
thanks
Parents should be warned of their own selfishness. Parents don’t realize they are being selfish. Parents certainly didn’t plan to be selfish but understanding their selfishness is the key to saving their child.
We, as parents, want to protect our own emotions and seeing our child suffer is more than we can take so we protect (enable) our child because we can’t take the pain of watching them suffer the consequences of their actions.
Our children can not get well until we understand our own selfish behavior.
Show the parents real life accounts from real parents who have both failed and succeeded. If they failed reveal the consequences of their failure. and if they succeeded reveal the outcome of their success.
I’d like to understand what options might be available for families when a child is just beginning to experiment. When our daughter was at that point, she was under 18. It seemed we could have her whisked away in the middle of the night, or enrolled in in-patient or intensive out-patient, or get 1-1 counseling, but we had no idea how to evaluate if she was merely experimenting or at the beginning of a big problem (turned out to be the latter.)
I’d like a book with nuance. While it is helpful to know that family dinners are valuable, and that it’s a good idea to monitor media, I’d like to know about how to offset the influence of teens’ peers when the values directly conflict?
I’d like to know what a parent can control, and what can not be changed, and how to recognize when one might be over- or under-reacting to a situation.
I’d like other parents’ frank stories, the ones with happy endings, and those that might not have an ending yet. I’d like to know I’m not alone.
I’d like resources and I’d like information about when to use the resources. When should intensive outpatient be an option? Is it a good idea to insist on an underage child attending outpatient sessions even if they don’t think they have a problem?
I’d like to know, to the best of anyone’s research, about success rates of various programs. What really works with kids?
How should I talk to our other children when one child begins to use/abuse drugs and/or alcohol?