Despite the fact that alcohol and other drugs are readily available to teenagers, parents do have the power to raise drug free kids. We want Parent Power to address the questions concerns and real life situations you parents and your teens face everyday.
The 2007 CASA report, The Importance of Family Dinners IV finds that, compared to teens who have five to seven family dinners per week, those who dine with their families fewer than three nights a week are likelier to abuse prescription drugs, try marijuana, smoke cigarettes, or drink alcohol.
Dinner as a family is a daily event in our household. It is the most important family gathering each day.
yes almost every night and often including friends who were alone or having trouble in their own home.
Yes. We have 3 kids aged 4 to 14. My husband doesn’t get home until after the kids need to eat sometimes, but I’m always with them at dinner. If the oldest has a late activity, she pairs up with her dad for dinner, so no one is ever eating alone. There’s always discussion about their day.
Every night that I am home, we eat together. When she is with family, they eat together. The day’s issues are always discussed.
Mostly every night. Our kids are young (4 and 6) but I beleive we must set the pattern for being interested in their lives early on to set a good foundation for troubled years.
My kids are grown now, but we had family dinners every night — with conversation, not TV. A favorite was to have debates or to pose a question that had no “right” answer. Dinner was alway open to what ever kids were in the house.
Instilling this tradition when children are young is critical, because if you wait to start this when kids are already teenagers you may find this to be extremely difficult to do. When my kids were younger and pre-teen, dinner time conversations were the prime place conversations took place- how school is going, current event conversations and “gossip” took place. It is amazing how much you can find out from your kids at dinner time if you provide a safe forum for them to tell you about what is going in their lives and their world around them. Up until my kids were 15 or so, we had family dinners every night. Now that they are older- a sophomore and senior in high school- we are lucky if we are all even home 1 -2 nights per week. So, whenever we are all home at dinner time, I make sure to shut off the TV and sit around the dining room table all together to share a family dinner.
Yes!!! We all try to make this one a family affair….and for special holidays when there was no school, we’d go down to work to eat lunch with Daddy.
Sometimes we all jabber at once but we always have fun and enjoy one another.
Most nights. We make a special effort to have a nice sabbath dinner together on Fridays. (Jewish sabbath-Shabbos) My daughter is not yet three years old, so a lot of the other questions do not apply to our family at this time.
We have a standard that we try to stick to regarding dinner meals. We have dinner every night at 6 p.m. and that way everyone plans accordingly. When someone has a conflict they let us know and we try to set the time for that day at a time when all can be there if possible. Generally, we are all present for about 5 out of 7 evenings a week.
Yes, our familiy dinners were the best. We not only ate together but we prayed together, each family member taking turns in praying and helping mom cook. Our dinners were generally something to look forward to as we all talked and enjoyed in conversation, and plans and the events of the day. We also took turns doing the dishes which was alot less desired, but we did it as a family and took turns. A family who prays together stays together.
We have always made a point to eat dinner together without the TV on (except for special occasions). As secular humanists we do not pray to God before dinner, but we have a ritual of each saying two things we are grateful for. We appreciate this opportunity to pause and reflect on what is good in our lives, especially on days that have been difficult.
We try to make dinner a pleasant time, and if we stray into a conflictual topic, one of us stops it and says, “let’s not talk about this at dinner.” We talk about a lot of interesting things, we just avoid arguments over our meal. If one of us is unable to be there, we miss them, but we hold to the ritual. Dinners together give our small family a sense of unity and peace, and help us let go of the stresses of the day.
Family dinners are a special time to reconnect and catch up with one another. Not only do we make an effort to sit down around the table with no TV, but we also work together preparing the meal and cleaning up. Often, the time we spend together before and after the meal is the perfect opportunity to “discuss” intimate subjects. Having a task to keep busy with while you chat helps the children avoid any “uncomfortable” feelings about opening up on the tough subjects.
My husband and I include our children in our discussions about world events, politics, religion, business, etc during our family meals. Talking about our perspective on these topics in a casual but intimate setting is another way of helping them develop values and understand how to interact with others.
During the meal we make it a point to talk about the children’s activities, friends, school day, etc. We often also share “bad” jokes or funny stories. Everyone in our home looks forward to family meals.
This was the absolute rule in our house and very little interferes with it. It was not always easy but our sons believe in it now. We have wonderful discussions about films and politics and sports. It means so much to us.
Yes. When the teenagers are working part time or participating in sports and other school activities it is hard to co-ordinate so we all tried to be home on one night a week as a family unit. No it didn’t always work out but we did try and it did help you stay in touch with where each other was in their lives and at work, etc.
When my 4 children were young each of them took turns helping me prepare the evening meal. We got a lot of talking done before dinner and it often carried over to the dinner table where everyone could share their thoughts. After dinner the whole family had a hand in cleaning up the kitchen and getting ready for the rest of the evening. Where ever we went we usually went as a family. Often times we had some “extras” along, friends of my own children who commented on how much fun we had as a family. Our home rules were strict from an early age so by the time my children were teenagers they were well rooted in what was acceptable. Now my grandchildren are being raised by the same set of standards. I have two teen grandsons, (with 5 more grandsons that are fast approaching teen years) we still do lots of laughing and fun is near the top of our daily goals. I am confident that if boundaries are set at an early age for children and parents model a life within those boundaries children will be more apt to follow in our footsteps.
When our four children were at home (they are all grown up now) Dinner was a daily event. The six of us sat down to dinner every night. Often we had friends of our kids over for dinner if they happened to be around at dinner time. I always tried to have extra food. As a rule, I kept extra snack food on the kitchen counter and friends knew they were welcome to stay and have a snack after school. And I was there to supervise. We did not allow visitors in our home when we were out, a steadfast rule. We were careful about who our kids were with when they spent time away from home. A telephone call to parents was SOP with our family when our kids were going out to visit.
Until my kids were involved in high school activities and jobs we ate dinner together every night and have never had a TV in the kitchen or cell phones allowed at the table. As they got into their own schedules we would try to at least have 2 dinners together on the nights we know no one had “must be” places to go. We have always had our meals open to any friends that want to join and never forced serious discussions at mealtime, just focused on the togetherness of being a family even if it included some “foster kids” from time to time.
Almost every night.
As a youth, my family didn’t have many dinners together at the table. I wish we would have. I know now that it’s one of the most important things I can do for my own family.
Nearly every day. That’s where a lot of good sharing of factual information, thoughts, and feelings happens.
We actually eat together more often now that he has moved to his own home. He has a longtime girlfriend and both our families share time together over holiday dinner, barbeques, eating out. I feel as if I have gained a daughter rather than lost a son. We solve world problems over dinner.
Eating together is a real positive experience at our home. Except when they are at school, we eat every meal with at least one, and usually both parents.
One, you have influence over what children eat and how much.
Two, small talk gives insight into their daily activities and it can set the tone for the day.
Three, it’s a bonding experience, dinner isn’t just about the food or the conversation. It’s an offering of time and effort by the parents, a responsibility and sacrifice of self for the benefit of the family. Appriciation for the preparing and serving of a meal is learned.
Four, it gives parents the opportunity to teach and encourage politeness and good manners. These are assets needed to succeed in our society.